Active Bystanding: It’s a Jungle Out There! – Part 2

As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below. Last week we explored Greta’s story as a great example of Bystander Prevention. We said that Bystander Prevention is getting way out ahead of any harm to a child by being alert to potential boundary violations and grooming, and essentially heading them off at the pass. Bystander Prevention is doing Steps 1, 2 and 3 of The …

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Active Bystanding: It’s a Jungle Out There! – Part 1

As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below. The team at Darkness to Light has been having a lot of conversation recently about what it is to be an engaged bystander. We’ve really gotten into the weeds about it, too. We all agree that bystander engagement is a #1 priority when it comes to preventing sexual abuse. Why? Because as we like to say, “The …

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Yes, We’re Growing Up: The Upside of Risk

As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below.  No matter what their age or how it comes up, talking with kids about sex and bodies feels like a risk. For most of us it just has that edge. A lot of people think of risk and hazard interchangeably. Like, “Despite the risk, he dashed into oncoming traffic.” Or, “Put up a Wet Floor sign to …

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The “What If?” Game: Confident, Competent Kids

As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below.  When I was a child, my mom played a game with me that she called “Opposites.” This must have started when I was about three. Is that too precocious? Maybe I was four. Anyway, in the Opposites Game my mom would say a word, and I was supposed to shout out its opposite. “Inside,” she would say. …

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Safe, Not Sterile: Showing Affection

As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below.  One of the best things about children, especially the little ones, is their openness and receptivity. Simply by their nature, children call forth our affection. Being in the presence of a child, we smile. We find ways to make ourselves smaller, less threatening. We ask questions and listen. We show enthusiasm. We mirror.  If the child knows …

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Got Moxie? Summoning the Courage to Intervene

As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below.  This Two Minutes for Prevention video could be pretty discouraging. The news of it may even make you mad.  ‘Make you want to blame the messenger. But the fact remains that 90% of children who are sexually abused know their abuser. A close friend, a trusted teacher, an older cousin, even one’s own boyfriend or spouse – a person …

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Critical Conversations for Teenagers

  As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below.  Teenagers crave freedom, but only if they’re standing on a base that is stable and secure. -James R. Doty, MD Back in the day when I was training as a family therapist, my supervisor framed the parent-child relationship during adolescence in a way I’ll never forget. Very simply she explained the parents’ role shifts to helping …

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Teaching Proper Names for Body Parts

As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below.  Minnie and Willie? For little boys, I’ve heard it called everything from pee-pee, junk, Willie, and ding, to man muscle, tender, and guy stuff. For little girls, I’ve heard downstairs, peach, hooha, garage, pocket book, Minnie, girly bits, and cookie among others. What’s going on here? As adults I think there are lots of reasons we use …

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Empowering Children to Voice the Uncomfortable

As part of our Two Minutes for Prevention series, Stewards of Children® author Paula Sellars provides additional insights and experience about the topic covered in the video below.  A couple of weeks ago we had a really good snowfall in Asheville, 18 inches in fact. I absolutely love snow, so I took the morning off, bundled up and went for an early morning walk. Crunching down my street I came upon at 10 year-old girl who recently moved into our neighborhood with her parents and …

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